Steak Houses Part Deux!

     Hello fellow food aficionados, it's Mr. Foodgasm, back again. Here to round off the best of the rest when it comes to steak houses I have visited. Numbers three, four, and five on the list are almost interchangeable. They are all that good. Without further ado, here are numbers four through seven on the countdown.
     4- Don Shula's Steak House, Miami, Fl.
     Ok, ok, ok, I know what you are all saying out there. What a homeboy! Well, just because I was born and raised in Miami, am a die hard Dolphin fan, and  happen to strongly believe that Don Shula is the greatest football coach to ever grace the field, does not mean I am being biased here. This is the steak house I cut my teeth on. My first taste of fine dining was at Shula's. I have returned too many times to keep track of, and will continue to grace this establishment with my patronage. So call me a homer if you want. Just read on, and drink this Kool-Aid I have here. You will believe.

     As soon as you walk in, you are in a shrine devoted to the Miami Dolphins of the 1970's. Even if football is not your thing, you can't help but smile as your waiter walks up to your table and hands you a regulation football with Shula's menu hand painted on it. You can not pass up on the appetizers here. There are two in particular that get my heart racing just thinking of them. First off is the flash fried Maine lobster tail. Let's just start off by noting that Maine lobster is natures perfect food. At Shula's, they take the tail of this scrumptious crustacean, and flash fry it. The "flash" in flash frying means, it is dipped into the oil just long enough to form a crisp exterior on the lobster. Meanwhile, the inside is perfectly cooked and juicy.  Combine this with nothing but drawn butter, and a squeeze of lemon juice, and you have nourishment that will make you start speaking in tongues. The other offering is the BBQ shrimp. It doesn't sound like all that I know. But they combine the most absurdly huge shrimp you have ever seen, with in house prepared BBQ sauce that is sweet, hot, tangy, and not to mention lip smacking good. You need to try this.
     As for the main course, Shula's serves only Premium Black Angus beef. Only the choicest cuts of meat make the grade here, and they combine it with their aging process to produce a truly remarkable piece of cow. This is also the home of the 48oz. Porterhouse challenge. If you order the 48 ouncer, and finish it, you get to be immortalized on Shula's website for all time. Adam Richmond from Man vs. Food on the Travel channel attempted to best this challenge in under 30 minutes, and was successful. 48 oz. in 30 minutes........OK, I wonder if he was able to savor and enjoy it. This sides are all the old standards done well. The hash browns in particular are worth the price of admission. Big, thick, fluffy on the inside, and with an incredibly crunchy exterior.
     I am not a sweets person by any means. Usually one or two bites of dessert is more than enough for me. However, and this is a BIG however, if the chocolate souffle here does not make you cry tears of joy, I don't know what will. It needs to be ordered at the beginning of your meal to be ready. It comes to the table piping hot, crisp on the outside, and with what I can only describe as a chocolate pillow on the inside. Now let's gild the lily. A ramekin of Creme Anglaise is poured into the parted center of your souffle. You can stop here. But, if you are feeling brave you can add a decadent scoop of Hagen Daaz vanilla bean ice cream to the mix. And...................this is where things start to get Foodgasmic. Trust me, you will be doing a Meg Ryan with every morsel. In closing, Shula's, gets an 8 out of 10.
     5-Fleming's Steak House, Coral Gables, Fl. And Various locations.
     Nestled in the more swanky area of Coral Gables, Fleming's is a chain steak house that truly deserves its place on the countdown. Before I go on, who loves P.F. Chang's? Do you enjoy the Mongolian beef? The sauce they prepare for you tableside? If you are wondering where I am going with this, P.F. stands for Paul Fleming. This guy is a genius restaurateur. After he came up with the P.F. Chang's concept, he decided he wanted to open the ultimate steak house. Well, loyal readers, Mr. Fleming succeeded. Walk in and you are greeted by a very sleek bar. Plan to sit there for a bit, because it will take a while to get to your table. This is even if you have reservations. Don't fret. The drink menu is outrageous. I have watched my incredible girlfriend down three pomegranate martinis before dinner without blinking. They are that addictive. Well, now you are walking to your table, with a damn healthy buzz, and it only gets better.
     Time for appetizers. I honestly can only review one. Every time we have gone, we have the same one. Um, that means its out of control good  people. Every time we have gone, we have been in the company of our favorite couple Amado, and Odalys. We ALWAYS order the charcuterie. It is a perfect portion for two couples, and promotes the consumption of more delicious adult beverages.The charcuterie is a marble slab of artisinal meats, cheeses, sauces, and pates. I imagine this is what it must be like sitting at a Tapas bar in Madrid, enjoying an array of cured meats and cheeses, all the while sipping on a Rioja wine, or Sangria, not giving a damn about anything other than what you are eating, or the people you are sharing the experience with. When food transports you somewhere else, it is definitely accomplishing its mission.
     On to the COW! The steak at Fleming's is a Prime Angus cut. They do the aging here as well. I have had New York Strip here that is practically fork tender. If you are into sauces, get a side of Bearnaise sauce for your steak. They make a great version here. Two of the sides however are what elevate Fleming's to FOODGASMIC proportions. The chipotle cheddar mac and cheese is the best rendition of this classic dish I have ever had. It is laden with sharp, gooey, creamy cheddar cheese. It also has the addition of chipotle peppers which give it just the right amount of heat. This is not mac and cheese out of a box folks, and the fact that they use corkscrew pasta instead of elbow macaroni adds to the texture of the dish. Next up are the french green beans, or Haricot Vert. This is a much thinner bean than most people are used to. They are steamed perfectly. They yield to the bite, but have a very satisfying snap on the exterior. Fleming's adds shitake mushrooms, and an essence of the prized Italian porcini mushroom to send this dish over the top.
     Alas, the desserts at Fleming's are nothing to write home about. End your meal with very pedestrian fare such as cheesecake or creme brulee. Both are tasty, but we have all been down that road before. This minor flub to end an otherwise flawless meal earns Fleming's a 7 out of 10 of the Foodgasmometer.
     6- Ruth Chris Steak House, Coral Gables, Fl. Various locations.
     Here is where things start getting dicey. So far you have heard me wax on about steak houses that were "toe curling", and FOODGASMIC. Things start to take a sharp turn here. Ruth Chris steak house got in start on Broad street in New Orleans in 1965. It is a huge chain, and has garnered much notoriety.Maybe in the 60's, 70's, and 80's it was cutting edge. Sad to say Ruth Chris has not kept up with the times. I was excited the first time I walked in. I thought I was going to enjoy some truly delicious "old school" fare. Upon leaving, the only thing I could muster was a resounding MEH.
     Appetizers here pretty standard fare. Calamari, crab cakes, seared Ahi, it's been done to death. All I can say is they are all OK. But OK certainly is not what I am looking for when plunking down some major samolians  on a meal. OK is definitely NOT OK. You would think that coming from New Orleans, they could draw from that cities rich culinary history at least in conceptualizing the appetizers. These folks have managed to come up with some pretty unimaginative fare.
     Prime Angus Beef is the fare. Lots of steak houses do it. What sets Ruth Chris apart you ask? Well, the saving grace here, and its a big one mind you, is that the folks here finish their steak under a salamander broiler with a healthy pat of butter. This causes your steak to come to your table sizzling and hot. Mind the plate sir. It is very hot............WHY DO I INSIST ON PROVING TO MYSELF THAT THE PLATE IS HOT BY TOUCHING IT??????????? OUCH............DAMNIT!!!! The steak swimming in melted butter however, is a prime example of making a good thing better. Side dishes are very traditional here. The Potatoes au Gratin are very well done, as well as the asparagus in Holandaise sauce.
     Desserts are pretty lame too. If you decide to have one, get the bread pudding in whiskey sauce. It's tasty and they dont skimp on the booze in this one. Big whiskey flavor here. Otherwise, the meh factor is pretty high.
     On a side note, upon one of my few visits here, I ordered a steak done medium. It arrived cooked beyond all semblance of ever having been a living thing. Not one drop of blood in the meat was to be identified. The steak would have made fine footwear however. The manager visited the table, apologized profusely, and offered to bring me a new steak. I figured, hey, anyone can make a mistake, so I accepted. Well, the next steak came to the table in a state that I can only describe as maybe it was placed in a tanning bed for 5 minutes and then served to me. What I am saying here is that Snookie is more cooked than what they brought me. Don't get me wrong, I try to be a manly man. I can handle rare meat. I am not however a big cat on the Serengeti guarding my wildebeest from the inevitable onslaught of the hyena hordes. When I spoke to the manager a second time, his response to me was, "I am sorry sir. Apparently we can not produce a steak here that is acceptable to your discriminating palette". He offered a full refund. Really? REALLY? Yeah no shit dude! I am not plunking down over 50 bucks for a steak in your establishment when your chef can't grasp the concept of MEDIUM. Ruth Chris, 6 out of 10.
     7- Smith and Wollenski, Miami Beach, Fl. Various locations.
      OK, here is where it gets ugly folks. I was so excited when I had my first opportunity to visit the much heralded New York addition to the steak house scene. I mean, to listen to New Yorkers talk about it, you would think that eating here was some kind of right of passage. New York, the culinary hub of the US. New York, where cutting edge cuisine is the norm. New York, where everything is better, and youse guys here in Miami have no idea on what real food is. IF IT'S SO GREAT, GO BACK TO NEW YORK YOU POMPOUS RAT BASTARD!!!!!!!
      The starters are bad. Not as in hearing MJ say who's bad, and schamone............no bad as in NOT good. They get 20 bucks for a shrimp cocktail. That's shrimp, and cocktail sauce. I guess they want to bring some of old New York to you and mug you from the start of your meal. The pea soup was good however. Probably the only dish of note I had here.
     For my main course, I ordered my usual. Yes, the New York strip! My favorite cut of meat. Where else would you expect to get a New York Strip that would evoke the FOODGASMIC Gods other than the quintessential New York steak house? Ahem, my steak arrived at the table with a BIG ASS bone running down the middle! I looked down and was like, wait..........what? I called our server over and told him there must be some mistake. This could not possibly be a New York strip, as a New York strip is a boneless steak. Our server assured me that this was in fact a genuine Smith and Wollenski New York strip. Hm, wow, um OK. I am guessing that every other steak house known to man has this cut of beef wrong, and you fine folks have it nailed. I just ate the damn thing, and I guess it tasted OK. At that point however, I was too disappointed to care anymore. Sides are all 11 dollars here, and are all things I could make in my kitchen, probably with better results.
     Desserts? New York cheesecake of course. Blah, skip the dessert here altogether. There is nothing of note on the dessert menu that even warrants a mention. Smith and Wollenski? 3 out of 10, and I am being generous because the Pea soup was yummy.
     Well, that rounds it out. I hope you have enjoyed my initial posting, and I hope to hear from you in the form of feedback and comments. I am having a ball writing this blog, and will be updating frequently. Lots of stuff in the pipeline as far as the Miami food scene goes, and I will be ranting about other various topics as well. Until next time fellow foodies..........Eat well.