Wednesday, March 9, 2011

BEST! MEAL! EVER!



     Have you ever sat back and tried racking your brain? Asking yourself, what is the best meal I have ever ingested? You tend to start coming up with a lot of different stuff. Things start popping up like, Oh, I remember that burger I had in the Virgin Islands. Or That Kobe steak I had at so and so's last year was sublime. But what if you had to rate one meal, and only one as the best dining experience you have ever had, from amuse bouche to dessert? Well, I'm here today to tell you about the best meal I have ever had. Not even one minor misstep on any course. Every single thing that passed between my lips was a culinary awakening. And then of course, the level of service and ambiance that takes the total experience over the top, and turns it into something akin to a religious epiphany. I know there are more highly touted eateries out there. Daniel Bolud's place in New York, and Joel Robuchon's in Vegas just to name two. I am sad to say, I have been to neither. Robuchon was named the most influential chef of the last century by the way. One day Joel.............ONE DAY! As much as I respect and admire the cuisine prepared by our froggy friends, I am proud to say that the best meal I ever had was at a restaurant who's menu was created by a homegrown American boy. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you celebrity chef extraordinaire, Charlie Palmer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you AUREOLE!
     Aureole is located in the beautiful Mandalay Bay resort in Las Vegas. The first thing that takes your breath away as you walk in, is a gorgeous, four story, temperature controlled, glass and stainless steel wine tower. At any given time, you can see Aureole's wine angels, flying up and down the tower, fetching bottles for thirsty patrons. Wine Director, William Sherer, is only one of 136 Master Sommeliers in the entire U.S., and he has complied a truly impressive collection. Once you are over the initial awe of the wine tower, you are shown to your table. The main dining room at Aureole is nothing short of spectacular. It looks so beautiful and pristine, I actually started wondering, How the hell did they let me in here? Aureole has also been awarded a highly coveted Michelin Star. This is an award that only the finest establishments can lay claim to.  Rosa, (My truly better half), and our favorite couple, Amado and Odalys were dining with me that evening. As we sat at our table, and started perusing the menu, I think all of us were excited at the possibilities of the forthcoming meal. 
      We were approached by the Sommaelier, with an I-Pad in hand. On the screen was Aureoles extensive wine list. At this point, I differ to Amado. He is the wino of the group, and I respect each and every choice he makes. Amado ordered a bottle of Pinot. I will not extensively go into the wines here. It's a food blog after all, and I don't want to show how little I know about wines and pairings. All I know, is that when the "first" bottle Amado ordered came to the table, I took the glass, swished it around, buried my nose in the glass to capture the bouquet, took a small sip, and swirled it around in my mouth aerating it as I savored it. When Amado asked me my opinion, I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and exclaimed, "That's some pretty freakin good vino right there Bro!" I told you I was no connoisseur. 
     One of the what seems like an endless stream of servers brought us a tray with assorted breads. My eyes gravitated to the Brioche. I love Brioche. It is a highly enriched French bread, whose high egg and butter content give it a light and tender crumb. I eagerly buttered the Brioche with butter that is prepared on premise. As I took the first bite, the eyes rolled into the back of my skull. I could have easily downed half a dozen of these delicious rolls. I don't normally get this excited about bread folks. But, it is that effen good.
     I decided right away I would be having the onion soup as my starter. I know, onion soup doesn't sound particularly adventurous, but I love onion soup! It's one of my favorite things ever. I figure, if they nail this, They've got me at hello. The soup arrived in a lovely bowl, with a puff pastry crust infused with Gruyere cheese on top. The broth is also fortified with foie gras, and truffles. The first spoonful of this luscious concoction went into my mouth and all you could hear at the table was CRACK, CRACK! I apologized to my fellow diners. The cracking sound was my toes curling in my already tight dress shoes. The beefy broth was spectacular. The crust was ridiculous. And the flavor of onion and truffle danced on my palette. Best onion soup ever! Well played Mr. Palmer. I sampled Rosa's butternut squash ravioli in a sage brown butter with Snow crab, and it was as good as my soup if not better.
     Main course time! I decided on the veal loin with a crispy polenta cake, baby artichokes, and shisto peppers. I love when veal is cooked correctly. It can be tender, succulent and flavorful. If the people at PETA have a problem with me consuming baby cow, I say they can shove it straight up their collective cornholes. I'm sorry, veal tastes good. Listen, I don't want to come off as insensitive, but when is enough enough? I love animals. I own two cats, one of which has been with me for the better part of 19 years. But when your incessant tree huggery messes with my meal, I draw the line. If some douchebag hippster wants to gnaw on brussel sprouts all day, and thinks he is making for a better world, I say let him. Just don't fuck with my plate. Oh dear. I'm sorry. Kinda got off track there. But, it had to be said. At any rate, he he, the sauce that accompanied the veal was a beef reduction with shallots. You could cut the meat with a fork, and the sauce complimented it perfectly. The baby artichokes were nothing short of perfect. And the peppers added an extra Je ne sais quoi to an already perfect plate of food. Rosa ordered the Opah, which is a Pacific moonfish. It's fairly rare to find it on a restaurant menu. If and when you do, I highly suggest you order it. It's one of the best tasting fish that swims. I snagged a taste of hers, and was almost jealous that I had not ordered that instead. Almost, but not quite. Between courses we were treated to an espresso cup filled with wild mushroom soup. This was on the house, and a very nice touch I might add. Was it good? I wanted to bathe in it, it was so good.
     For dessert I ordered the pistachio and almond toronne. This is a pistachio and almond nougat, that was bathed in a honey and cardamom drizzle. I swear I almost burst into tears. I could not have thought of a better way to end this meal. Not one bite was anything short of FOODGASMIC. I am not exaggerating. Every aspect of this meal surpassed my expectations. I think it is safe to say, I officially have a Man Crush on Charlie Palmer. After eating these heavenly courses, and several bottles of wine later, all of us at the table agreed we had just experienced something close to perfection. Please visit Aureole for yourself. You will thank me. The price tag may give you sticker shock, but I assure you, it is worth every penny. It didn't hurt that Amado had made a major killing at the slots earlier that day though. There you have it! My review of the best meal I ever had. I would love to give Aureole a 1 to 10 rating on the FOODGASM meter, but alas, Mr. Palmer's food busted it, and it is out for repair. Until next time my friends, may all your meals be FOODGASMIC!


    

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Latest Food Fad! WHAT THE TRUCK???????




      Food Trucks! That's right, Food Trucks! It's the latest gastronomic craze. It has really taken off in L.A., and the craze is growing in popularity here in Miami. For most of my life the only food I have ever eaten off a truck has been at the fair, or at the roach coaches that used to be prevalent in industrial areas. For the most part, my limited experience taught me that food out of a rolling kitchen was rarely any good. Well, the times they are a changin. Not only is the food being produced in many of these trucks noteworthy, in some cases genuine gourmet experiences can be had.
     I remember months ago, watching The Great Food Truck Race on the Food Network. It was a show where various food trucks from around the country were competing in different challenges until there was one left standing. I recall thinking this food truck thing might be kind of cool. Time passed, and I didn't think that much about it. Then a couple months ago, my best friend Amado and I were talking, and he told me he had been following these food trucks on Twitter. They would Tweet where in Miami they would be situated from day to day. So, being the bandwagon jumper that I am, I decided to start following these trucks on Twitter as well. I was initially disappointed to see that most of their stops were toward the northern end of town. I live in Kendall, which is almost as far south as you can get in Miami. I figured, Meh, I'm certainly not driving all over creation to eat from a truck. Well, wouldn't you know it? They have started migrating south. When I checked my Twitter account yesterday, I saw that 4 trucks would be making a dinner stop one block from where I live. So I took it as a sign from above, and decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about.
     I happen to be off on Wednesdays, so I spent most of the day anticipating a yummy dinner. I call my better half Rosa, and I tell her not to eat. I have a surprise for dinner. She gets home and asked me what I have cooked. Cooked? No sweetie, we will be stepping out this evening. I'm wearing my shorts and flip flops as we walk out the front door. We walk past our cars parked in the lot, and exit our complex to the side walk. At this point, Rosa is looking at me like I am some kind of freak. She demands to know where the hell we are going. I told her, "We are going one block to the parking lot of the big car wash. Just trust me." About two minutes later when we arrived, shes sees the people queuing up to the trucks, smacks me on the arm, and starts laughing.
     I can see why this fad is taking off and may be here to stay. It provides people with limited disposable income the opportunity to eat out with friends and family at a fraction of the cost of going to a sit down restaurant.
     Now..................on to the food!
     First stop, Latin Burger. Who doesn't love a good burger? Being of Cuban descent, I was intrigued at the prospect of what tasty combinations of flavors could be had by combining the All American burger with Latin flavors. I ordered The Latin Macho burger. Rosa had the pulled pork tacos. The food is made to order so it takes a few minutes. When you do get it, it's piping hot and fresh. I tore into my burger like a Tasmanian Devil, tornado and all. The flavor was full and bold. You could taste the Hispanic spices integrated into the meat. The onions were perfectly caramelized, and the red pepper mayo was spot on. This could have been a top 10 burger experience for me except for the fact that as is the case with many burgers nowadays it was very overcooked. I know, I know, the food police are out there, up in arms if you don't cook a hamburger into sawdust because E colli is looming around every corner. WTF? When did we become a nation of paranoid eaters? If you cook a piece of meat beyond all recognition of ever having had a drop of juice in it, you're making for a pretty frickkin unappetizing meal. I like SOME pink to still be prevalent. I understand that the folks at Latin Burger have to protect themselves against every shyster lawyer salivating to make a quick payday. You know what I say? Fuck Lawyers! I will sign a waiver if I have to, just give me a stinking burger that's still pink in the middle. Oh dear, I was ranting wasn't I? I have to warn my readers, that may happen from time to time. In the final analysis, Burger tasty, but overcooked. Toppings, delicious. Bun, soft warm, and fresh. The final tally for Latin Burger........7 out of 10 on the FOODGASM meter. Coulda been an easy 9 though.
    The Fish Box, is the food truck counterpart of La Camaronera. La Camaronera is a casual seafood restaurant located in Little Havana. Although they have always had a loyal clientele, their reputation really skyrocketed after a recent visit from Food Network star Guy Fieri during a taping of his hit show Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Not long after, La Camaronera decided to take their new found fame on the road, and thus The Fish Box was born. Serving Cuban style fish sandwiches called minutas, (Mee-New-Tas), fried shrimp, fried lobster tail, and their signature caritas, The Fish Box has a little something for all Seafoodies. When I sauntered up to the counter, I decided Rosa and I would share a lobster sandwich, and an order of caritas. The lady who took my order asked if I wanted their special hot sauce on our sandwich. Not fearing some spice, I said "Sure, why not?" Well, a quick word of warning. The Fish Boxes "Special" hot sauce Is pretty friggin hot! I love heat. But, its a shame that too much heat ended up masking the taste of some very delicate chunks of lobster tail. The caritas however are sublime. Its an order of six small fritters that look like hush puppies. They are made out of ground up black eyed peas, and spices, formed into small balls and deep fried. I can just imagine a quadruple order of these accompanied by several pitchers of very cold beer. Yeah, I would pretty much tear that up in a heartbeat. I have never been a big fan of black eyes peas, or The Black Eyed peas for that matter. I find Fergie unappealing, and the other guy, the one with the Doctor Seuss name, Sam I Am, or whatever the hell it is, to be talentless hacks. I mean, did you watch them on the Superbowl halftime show? They didn't have all the effects of the studio on their voices, and ended up sounding more like Black Eyed Shit as far as I'm concerned.  The black eyed peas in the caritas however, taste amazing. The preceding message has been brought to you by the angrier side of Mr. Foodgasm. All that being said, The Fish Box gets a 7 out of 10, based largely on how damn good those caritas are. Warning, if you are stoned you may end up consuming 10 orders.

     Last but not least, it was time for dessert. Sugar Mama cupcakes was there to calm the sweet tooth. Cupcakes are also a fairly recent boom on the culinary scene. I know cupcakes have been around forever, but these are small individualized gourmet cakes. They even have their own showcase on the Food Network where competing bakeries try to come up with elaborate cupcake recipes in hopes of winning the top prize. I love cupcakes because they are usually two to three bites, and that is more than enough sweets for me to be satisfied. Both Rosa and I ordered the Red Velvet cupcakes with a white chocolate topping. The cake itself was moist and flavorful. The white chocolate topping however, had become hard, and did not have a pleasant texture.The cupcake would have really benefited from a smooth butter creme icing on top. The young lady selling the cakes is a sweetheart. I asked her is she had anything with guava in it. I really like guava. Its the Cuban in me. She replied she didn't have any guava cupcakes at that time, but she offered me a small iced guava cake on a stick that looked like a lollipop. She didn't charge me for it. She just included it in the order. A very nice gesture I must say. So, although the Red velvet turned out to be a disappointment because of the icing/topping, I would try Sugar Mama again based on the service, and the fact that the cake portion of the cupcake was well done. Also, the guava lolli pop was very tasty. Sugar Mama 6 out of 10.
     Well, there you have it. My humble opinion on the latest culinary craze. Are food trucks a fad? Will they stay popular, and stand the test of time? Who knows? For the time being, I plan on sampling more of them and bringing the results to you. Good eats + Cheap = Happy John. Until next time, may all your meals be FOODGASMIC.  

Monday, February 28, 2011

What a Weekend! Sea John Eat!

     It's 3:30 PM on Monday, and I am just starting to recover from this weekend. I definitely had some highs and lows. The highs however, turned out to be FOODGASMIC. Friday did not start out especially promising in that I was scrambling most of the day acquiring all the needed ingredients to prepare a churrasco steak dinner for 73 guests. For those unfamiliar with churrasco, it is the outside skirt steak. A truly delicious cut of meat that has a nice hearty chew. I wouldn't call it tender, but it has an outside layer of fat that adds to the flavor, and makes this one of my favorite cuts. So, after procuring enough meat for 73, it was time to get the rice and plantains ready. I also made chimichurri sauce from scratch. It was exhausting. If you haven't sampled chimichurri sauce, you need to try it. It's a topping for beef that originated in Argentina. If there is one thing Argentines know, it is beef, and what to put on it to make it even better.It consists of finely chopped flat leaf parsley, chopped garlic, onion, olive oil, red wine vinegar, salt, and pepper. It is left overnight so that the flavors can marry. Put that tasty concoction on some beef, or poultry and you have yourself a gen-you-ine Gaucho delight. Guests arrive at 6PM. It is 4PM now. Crunch Time! Sides are ready and keeping warm in the oven. Chimichurri, check. Firing up the grills now to get the steak cooked. Got the first batch of steaks on the grill and it looks like smooth sailing from here on out. I should have known................I take the first batch of steaks off the grill and they look beautiful. I mean gorgeous. A slight char on the exterior, and the most perfectly pink center you can imagine. The first guests are arriving, so I direct my assistant to continue grilling the steaks, and take them off as soon as they looked like the first batch. Well........he he.......it so happens that my assistant is visually impaired, and night was falling outside. Gulp! I get on the serving line and start flinging the food. All is going according to plan. The guests are devouring the first batch of steak, smacking their lips and making MMMMMM MMMMMM sounds the whole time. I call out for batch # 2. I have a line of patrons that look like they haven't eaten since the Irish potato famine. They remind me of the zombies from Dawn of the Dead. With no time to spare the second batch of steak arrives! Whew! Uh-Oh..........The combination of poor lighting, and lack of vision caused my otherwise trusty assistant to produce steaks that resembled roofing tar. Oh shit. What am I gonna do now? All the meat is cooked and it's not pretty. I put on my best shyster grin, and tell the folks, "Is everybody ready for some delicious CHAR grilled meat"? I'm serving away hoping and praying that nobody chips a tooth on these charcoal briquettes. Well, slap me around and call me Shirley. Can you believe not one person complained? I hastily served dessert, and sent the horde of people home fat and satisfied. Whew!
    Saturday! Date night with my wonderful, amazing  girlfriend, Rosa. It had been a while since we dined out, so I decided we would enjoy a delicious seafood dinner with all the trimmings. Whenever we want to really splurge and have fresh, well prepared seafood, we head on out to Captains Tavern. http://www.captainstavernmiami.com/. Captains Tavern has been in business for 40 years serving diners in the Miami area. This means it has withstood the test of time. For oyster aficionados it is very hard to pass up the cold water oyster offerings here. They run $2 each. I know that seems rather pricey, but it is well worth it. Living in Florida, we usually only get to have Gulf oysters. These are the warm water variety, and although they are good, they do not hold a candle to their cold water cousins. So a dozen delicious Blue Point oysters it was for Rosa and I. Cold, crisp, briny, and tasting of the sea in the freshest and most yummy of ways. The dozen were gone in a flash. Thank God we had our entrees coming.
     The special for the evening was a 2 Lb. Maine Lobster for only $29.95. I knew right away what I was having. When I announced that I would be having the Maine Lobster, Rosa perked right up and asked, "Oh Baby, can I get that too?" She looked like a little kid in a candy store. Soon after, two perfectly prepared crustaceans were on the way to our table. Extra drawn butter, and extra lemon wedges are my only vices. As you get to work on the tail, your ravenous hunger starts to subside. Now that the tail is gone you can breathe. You are feeling better, you are in a state of Nirvana. On to the claws. The claw meat is succulent and tender. You savor every last morsel as you tip it into the decadent butter. At this point, your appetite is truly satiated. Ok, now you are just eating to eat this wonderful creature that gave its life to sustain you. You take each of the bottom feelers into your mouth after you have dipped them in the melted butter, (Thank you Paula Dean, you are a goddess). You work the tiny pieces of sweet meat out of the legs, and now you are almost done. Break open the chest of the lobster, and spoon out the delicious tomalley. Don't be grossed out at the fact that this is the lobsters pancreas. It is perfectly succulent. Dip it in the butter, and go to town. I know that Andrew Zimmerman would have no problem here. Alas, now its all gone. Don't be sad. You have just consumed what may be natures perfect food. I sat back, ripped off my bib, and let out a huge sigh of pleasure. We paid our bill, and drove home in a state of sheer bliss. I told Rosa I loved her, and she answered that she loved me.................Lobster brought us closer together. Captains Tavern, a solid 8.5 out of 10 on the FOODGASM meter.
     That's it for today guys. I hope you enjoy the post and leave tons of feedback! I will continue to stuff myself in the hopes that I can help you all attain FOODGASMS of your own.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Steak Houses Part Deux!

     Hello fellow food aficionados, it's Mr. Foodgasm, back again. Here to round off the best of the rest when it comes to steak houses I have visited. Numbers three, four, and five on the list are almost interchangeable. They are all that good. Without further ado, here are numbers four through seven on the countdown.
     4- Don Shula's Steak House, Miami, Fl.
     Ok, ok, ok, I know what you are all saying out there. What a homeboy! Well, just because I was born and raised in Miami, am a die hard Dolphin fan, and  happen to strongly believe that Don Shula is the greatest football coach to ever grace the field, does not mean I am being biased here. This is the steak house I cut my teeth on. My first taste of fine dining was at Shula's. I have returned too many times to keep track of, and will continue to grace this establishment with my patronage. So call me a homer if you want. Just read on, and drink this Kool-Aid I have here. You will believe.

     As soon as you walk in, you are in a shrine devoted to the Miami Dolphins of the 1970's. Even if football is not your thing, you can't help but smile as your waiter walks up to your table and hands you a regulation football with Shula's menu hand painted on it. You can not pass up on the appetizers here. There are two in particular that get my heart racing just thinking of them. First off is the flash fried Maine lobster tail. Let's just start off by noting that Maine lobster is natures perfect food. At Shula's, they take the tail of this scrumptious crustacean, and flash fry it. The "flash" in flash frying means, it is dipped into the oil just long enough to form a crisp exterior on the lobster. Meanwhile, the inside is perfectly cooked and juicy.  Combine this with nothing but drawn butter, and a squeeze of lemon juice, and you have nourishment that will make you start speaking in tongues. The other offering is the BBQ shrimp. It doesn't sound like all that I know. But they combine the most absurdly huge shrimp you have ever seen, with in house prepared BBQ sauce that is sweet, hot, tangy, and not to mention lip smacking good. You need to try this.
     As for the main course, Shula's serves only Premium Black Angus beef. Only the choicest cuts of meat make the grade here, and they combine it with their aging process to produce a truly remarkable piece of cow. This is also the home of the 48oz. Porterhouse challenge. If you order the 48 ouncer, and finish it, you get to be immortalized on Shula's website for all time. Adam Richmond from Man vs. Food on the Travel channel attempted to best this challenge in under 30 minutes, and was successful. 48 oz. in 30 minutes........OK, I wonder if he was able to savor and enjoy it. This sides are all the old standards done well. The hash browns in particular are worth the price of admission. Big, thick, fluffy on the inside, and with an incredibly crunchy exterior.
     I am not a sweets person by any means. Usually one or two bites of dessert is more than enough for me. However, and this is a BIG however, if the chocolate souffle here does not make you cry tears of joy, I don't know what will. It needs to be ordered at the beginning of your meal to be ready. It comes to the table piping hot, crisp on the outside, and with what I can only describe as a chocolate pillow on the inside. Now let's gild the lily. A ramekin of Creme Anglaise is poured into the parted center of your souffle. You can stop here. But, if you are feeling brave you can add a decadent scoop of Hagen Daaz vanilla bean ice cream to the mix. And...................this is where things start to get Foodgasmic. Trust me, you will be doing a Meg Ryan with every morsel. In closing, Shula's, gets an 8 out of 10.
     5-Fleming's Steak House, Coral Gables, Fl. And Various locations.
     Nestled in the more swanky area of Coral Gables, Fleming's is a chain steak house that truly deserves its place on the countdown. Before I go on, who loves P.F. Chang's? Do you enjoy the Mongolian beef? The sauce they prepare for you tableside? If you are wondering where I am going with this, P.F. stands for Paul Fleming. This guy is a genius restaurateur. After he came up with the P.F. Chang's concept, he decided he wanted to open the ultimate steak house. Well, loyal readers, Mr. Fleming succeeded. Walk in and you are greeted by a very sleek bar. Plan to sit there for a bit, because it will take a while to get to your table. This is even if you have reservations. Don't fret. The drink menu is outrageous. I have watched my incredible girlfriend down three pomegranate martinis before dinner without blinking. They are that addictive. Well, now you are walking to your table, with a damn healthy buzz, and it only gets better.
     Time for appetizers. I honestly can only review one. Every time we have gone, we have the same one. Um, that means its out of control good  people. Every time we have gone, we have been in the company of our favorite couple Amado, and Odalys. We ALWAYS order the charcuterie. It is a perfect portion for two couples, and promotes the consumption of more delicious adult beverages.The charcuterie is a marble slab of artisinal meats, cheeses, sauces, and pates. I imagine this is what it must be like sitting at a Tapas bar in Madrid, enjoying an array of cured meats and cheeses, all the while sipping on a Rioja wine, or Sangria, not giving a damn about anything other than what you are eating, or the people you are sharing the experience with. When food transports you somewhere else, it is definitely accomplishing its mission.
     On to the COW! The steak at Fleming's is a Prime Angus cut. They do the aging here as well. I have had New York Strip here that is practically fork tender. If you are into sauces, get a side of Bearnaise sauce for your steak. They make a great version here. Two of the sides however are what elevate Fleming's to FOODGASMIC proportions. The chipotle cheddar mac and cheese is the best rendition of this classic dish I have ever had. It is laden with sharp, gooey, creamy cheddar cheese. It also has the addition of chipotle peppers which give it just the right amount of heat. This is not mac and cheese out of a box folks, and the fact that they use corkscrew pasta instead of elbow macaroni adds to the texture of the dish. Next up are the french green beans, or Haricot Vert. This is a much thinner bean than most people are used to. They are steamed perfectly. They yield to the bite, but have a very satisfying snap on the exterior. Fleming's adds shitake mushrooms, and an essence of the prized Italian porcini mushroom to send this dish over the top.
     Alas, the desserts at Fleming's are nothing to write home about. End your meal with very pedestrian fare such as cheesecake or creme brulee. Both are tasty, but we have all been down that road before. This minor flub to end an otherwise flawless meal earns Fleming's a 7 out of 10 of the Foodgasmometer.
     6- Ruth Chris Steak House, Coral Gables, Fl. Various locations.
     Here is where things start getting dicey. So far you have heard me wax on about steak houses that were "toe curling", and FOODGASMIC. Things start to take a sharp turn here. Ruth Chris steak house got in start on Broad street in New Orleans in 1965. It is a huge chain, and has garnered much notoriety.Maybe in the 60's, 70's, and 80's it was cutting edge. Sad to say Ruth Chris has not kept up with the times. I was excited the first time I walked in. I thought I was going to enjoy some truly delicious "old school" fare. Upon leaving, the only thing I could muster was a resounding MEH.
     Appetizers here pretty standard fare. Calamari, crab cakes, seared Ahi, it's been done to death. All I can say is they are all OK. But OK certainly is not what I am looking for when plunking down some major samolians  on a meal. OK is definitely NOT OK. You would think that coming from New Orleans, they could draw from that cities rich culinary history at least in conceptualizing the appetizers. These folks have managed to come up with some pretty unimaginative fare.
     Prime Angus Beef is the fare. Lots of steak houses do it. What sets Ruth Chris apart you ask? Well, the saving grace here, and its a big one mind you, is that the folks here finish their steak under a salamander broiler with a healthy pat of butter. This causes your steak to come to your table sizzling and hot. Mind the plate sir. It is very hot............WHY DO I INSIST ON PROVING TO MYSELF THAT THE PLATE IS HOT BY TOUCHING IT??????????? OUCH............DAMNIT!!!! The steak swimming in melted butter however, is a prime example of making a good thing better. Side dishes are very traditional here. The Potatoes au Gratin are very well done, as well as the asparagus in Holandaise sauce.
     Desserts are pretty lame too. If you decide to have one, get the bread pudding in whiskey sauce. It's tasty and they dont skimp on the booze in this one. Big whiskey flavor here. Otherwise, the meh factor is pretty high.
     On a side note, upon one of my few visits here, I ordered a steak done medium. It arrived cooked beyond all semblance of ever having been a living thing. Not one drop of blood in the meat was to be identified. The steak would have made fine footwear however. The manager visited the table, apologized profusely, and offered to bring me a new steak. I figured, hey, anyone can make a mistake, so I accepted. Well, the next steak came to the table in a state that I can only describe as maybe it was placed in a tanning bed for 5 minutes and then served to me. What I am saying here is that Snookie is more cooked than what they brought me. Don't get me wrong, I try to be a manly man. I can handle rare meat. I am not however a big cat on the Serengeti guarding my wildebeest from the inevitable onslaught of the hyena hordes. When I spoke to the manager a second time, his response to me was, "I am sorry sir. Apparently we can not produce a steak here that is acceptable to your discriminating palette". He offered a full refund. Really? REALLY? Yeah no shit dude! I am not plunking down over 50 bucks for a steak in your establishment when your chef can't grasp the concept of MEDIUM. Ruth Chris, 6 out of 10.
     7- Smith and Wollenski, Miami Beach, Fl. Various locations.
      OK, here is where it gets ugly folks. I was so excited when I had my first opportunity to visit the much heralded New York addition to the steak house scene. I mean, to listen to New Yorkers talk about it, you would think that eating here was some kind of right of passage. New York, the culinary hub of the US. New York, where cutting edge cuisine is the norm. New York, where everything is better, and youse guys here in Miami have no idea on what real food is. IF IT'S SO GREAT, GO BACK TO NEW YORK YOU POMPOUS RAT BASTARD!!!!!!!
      The starters are bad. Not as in hearing MJ say who's bad, and schamone............no bad as in NOT good. They get 20 bucks for a shrimp cocktail. That's shrimp, and cocktail sauce. I guess they want to bring some of old New York to you and mug you from the start of your meal. The pea soup was good however. Probably the only dish of note I had here.
     For my main course, I ordered my usual. Yes, the New York strip! My favorite cut of meat. Where else would you expect to get a New York Strip that would evoke the FOODGASMIC Gods other than the quintessential New York steak house? Ahem, my steak arrived at the table with a BIG ASS bone running down the middle! I looked down and was like, wait..........what? I called our server over and told him there must be some mistake. This could not possibly be a New York strip, as a New York strip is a boneless steak. Our server assured me that this was in fact a genuine Smith and Wollenski New York strip. Hm, wow, um OK. I am guessing that every other steak house known to man has this cut of beef wrong, and you fine folks have it nailed. I just ate the damn thing, and I guess it tasted OK. At that point however, I was too disappointed to care anymore. Sides are all 11 dollars here, and are all things I could make in my kitchen, probably with better results.
     Desserts? New York cheesecake of course. Blah, skip the dessert here altogether. There is nothing of note on the dessert menu that even warrants a mention. Smith and Wollenski? 3 out of 10, and I am being generous because the Pea soup was yummy.
     Well, that rounds it out. I hope you have enjoyed my initial posting, and I hope to hear from you in the form of feedback and comments. I am having a ball writing this blog, and will be updating frequently. Lots of stuff in the pipeline as far as the Miami food scene goes, and I will be ranting about other various topics as well. Until next time fellow foodies..........Eat well.
      

Monday, February 21, 2011

Welcome to Foodgasm!

     Hello, my name is John and I am a Foodaholic. (All in unison......Hello John). I like to eat, nay, to dine. I feel that sitting down to a wonderful meal and cocktails in the company of people I enjoy socializing with, is one of the best uses of my time and energy.
     I decided to start this Blog for a few reasons. I want to share some of my favorite dining experiences with you, along with my reviews of local restaurants in the Miami area, and other random daily observations I may make. I have all sorts of stuff crammed up in my noggin, just itching to get out.
     Well, let's just jump right in shall we? Today, we are going to discuss steak. MMMMM......Steak..........One of the seven natural food wonders of the world. Seriously, who doesn't like steak? Oh, by the way, if you are vegan and reading my blog.......just move along. We will be discussing the consumption of delicious dead animal flesh at length in upcoming posts. At any rate, so many different types of steaks to choose from. Which cut is your favorite? I am partial to the New York strip cut. Some prefer the Rib eye, while others go for the Porterhouse. Many enjoy the latter two because the steak is "On the bone", and this is supposed to impart more flavor to the meat. I still love my strip before all others. I want to share some of my favorite steak eating experiences from my carnivore career, along with some tips on how to make a "Steak House" steak at home.
     Steak Houses in order from best to worst. Top three today, the balance tomorrow.
1- Craftsteak, Las Vegas.
     Inside the MGM Grand lies what I can only describe as the Mecca of Steak Houses. Owner/Chef Tom Colicchio has put together a menu that transcends the taste buds, and goes straight to other regions, causing yes that's right FOODGASMS galore. Myself, my gorgeous, lovely, incredibly sweet girlfriend, and our favorite couple, Amado and Odalys, dined here one particular evening. The decor was warm and understated. Our waiter arrived and made some cocktail suggestions. We took him up on his varied selection of mixed martinis. After a couple of rounds and some great conversation, we decided that we would go with the Kobe/Wagyu tasting menu for four. I am cleaning up accumulating puddles of drool off of my desk just writing this. For those that do not know, Wagyu beef is considered the most tender and most flavorful beef in the world. Kobe/Wagyu, originated in the Kobe region of Japan. The cows are given massages daily, and are given a very exclusive diet that features LOTS and LOTS of BEER! This causes the cows flesh to have a tremendous amount of marbling. Marbling equals fat deposits throughout the tissue which in turn equals steak so good, you gonna wanna slap yo mama. But I digress. I just felt the need to interject a little education there. This tasting menu consisted of four cuts of beef, four sides, and six desserts. First up, the MEAT. We all sampled New York Strip, Flat Iron, Porterhouse, and Skirt steaks. They were all divine. The best one you ask? Well.....it wasn't the New York. I vividly remember placing the first bite of Skirt steak into my mouth and as my mandibles began to masticate, I recall my eyes welling with tears of joy. This was arguably the most pleasurable bite of food I have ever placed in my mouth. I think at one point I may have seen Vishnu, but it's hard to tell. The sides were amazing as well, high lighted by a delicious sauteed broccoli rabe, and a potato puree that was like......pun intended......BUTTAH. The chefs selection of desserts was just as good as the rest of the meal. If in Vegas, Craftsteak is a MUST DO!!!!!!! Do not let the $100+ per person dissuade you. This is a once in a lifetime dining experience. On a scale of 1 to 10, we are talking 11 here.
     2-Prime 112, South Beach, Florida
     Hands down the best steakhouse in Miami. This smallish building, sits on 112 Ocean Drive. You can choose to dine inside, or Al fresco. All the Miami movers and shakers come here, and it is great for people watching. As you walk in, you are greeted by the decor which is chic and casual at the same time. Here you will enjoy a vast array of Dry Aged beef. Dry Aging is a process that can take from 14 to 45 days and ensures that the meat will have a strong, developed, depth of flavor. There is authentic Japanese Kobe steak on the menu as well, but at $30 an ounce, with a two ounce minimum, I stick with the dry aged option. The steak here is above reproach. It is perfectly delicious and worth every penny. However, what sets Prime 112 apart from the rest of the pack is it's whimsical approach to it's sides, sauces, and compound butters that accompany the entrees. Gorgonzola, Smoked Bacon, Onion Truffle, Garlic & Herb, and Foie Gras compound butters are all available to try with your steak. They in some cases, really transform the flavor of the meat, and take the traditional steak to a new direction. Desserts are also whimsical in nature, highlighted by the deep fried Oreo cookies. Not for the calorie conscious, but ohhhhhhhhh so good. All in all, a great night out with friends and/or your significant other. On the Foodgasm scale from 1-10......a solid 9.
     3- Capital Grill, Miami, Fl. And various locations across the U.S.
     This IS you daddy's steakhouse. As soon as you walk in, you are greeted by mahogany lined walls, animal heads, and brass everywhere. Although Capital Grill got its start in  Providence Rhode Island, (Thank you FuschiaGoddess for correcting me), it has a very official D.C. kind of feel. You can definately imagine politicians and power brokers dining here and cutting some major deals that would influence the course of national events. I am not saying it's stuffy, rather classy in a very "Old School" kind of way. The food is always spot on. I have never had a bad meal here, and the service is usually way above par. Again, we have the dry aged beef line up that is common in high end steak houses. The bar fare is quite good, and the appetizers and sides are what you would expect from a "Traditional" steak house. The meat is tender and flavorful. There is really no need to dress up a perfectly cooked cut of steak, and I take that minimalist approach when dining here. The dessert menu highlight is a flourless chocolate cake that is so dense and laden with chocolate flavor, it will make your toes curl. On the Foodgasm scale from 1-10.......an 8.5.
     Tomorrow I will round out my list of best steak houses to visit. I hope you enjoyed my initial Blog, and I invite all comments, and suggestions. I hope to have a lot of fun with this new venture, and I hope to bring all who read it some enjoyment, and useful information as well. Until our next Foodgasm.........Eat well.